Being in pain, sitting in bed at 3am in the morning really makes you think about random deep shit.
6 hours ago I had a chick-filet deluxe sandwich meal and now I’m paying for it. I think my stomach ulcers from New Years travel never fully went away. I’m so sick of it. Yet the only thing I can do now is to sit in this excruciating pain and try to befriend it. When there’s nothing I can do to the situation I simply choose to accept. At this moment I’m embracing the burn and nausea, with no regrets on the choices I made.
I think about how our bodies are deteriorating everyday. Being alive and aging is basically the process of dying. As we get older, we make peace with the physically changes. I miss the days when I had so much energy all the time, could bounce back instantly after nights of drinking, and had no sense of fear. I was such a risk-taker, always looked for ways to live life on edge. Now I just sit and accept my stomachache, my two day hangovers, say no to adventures(well not all of them), and still manage to fuck up.
To me growing up and growing old is just the process of realizing that we’re not actually invincible.