At this very moment, I’m sitting in a car with my parents driving to a hot pot restaurant in Beijing. I’ve been in China for the past two weeks visiting for the holidays and so far it’s been heavy Chinese food every single day. I’m literally exhausted from digesting all the protein, saturated fat, and sodium. The thought of meat right now makes me taste stomach acid. I don’t know how I’m going to survive this lunch.
Family gatherings are responsible for these heavy Chinese food eating. Everyday we eat out with different relatives from different sides of the family. All of them are warm and welcoming. They want to treat this girl who doesn’t come home often. Being an appreciative person, I always eat as much as I can. Enjoying their food in large portions shows respect on these occasions. But I’m also kind of crying inside, not even in a I’m-gaining-weight kinda way, just in desperate need of clean food.
This kind of struggle makes me feel so stupid, like it never even should’ve been a problem. But now every time I see a relative’s enthusiastic face of wanting to treat me food I get this weird rage. My body is whipping my mind.
I feel like shit. I need clean food.